


R U OK 2?

by synfull



Category: Original Work
Genre: Other, Poems, Poetry, collection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-21 03:00:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 1,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30015090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/synfull/pseuds/synfull
Summary: I felt I needed a place to store all my poetry, one that I normally access and that's more user-friendly than the other options I used to use, so here it is! A collection of all the poems I could salvage from 2017 to present day. I feel more at home writing poetry than I do at just...well, writing.Updates whenever I come up with a new poem.





	1. Midnight Heart's Reprise

and what has become of you  
birds of a feather (we were)  
close-knit, indeed (we were)  
till there came a tether  
one, then two  
longing and heartache to  
see you again

which of us was  
the tether a result of? (we were)  
one, then no more  
i still do not know  
lest there  
be a reprise like our last

i fail to succumb as i did last  
and perhaps it  
is so i forget the past  
is for the best for the both  
of us  
is a sign that  
i, we, are better off without  
each other


	2. Of Us The

when we first started talking  
i was unaware of the impact  
of our ties that cracked  
had you thought of me?

  
laughing, shining bright  
typical of us the selfish  
typical of us the hellish  
ink that once flowed  
met an abrupt end  
Ah,  
Such a short lifespan


	3. Yes You Are

i am not (yes You are)  
a picture to be framed  
your punching bag (You are my handbag)  
a beast to be tamed  
your self-portrait  
i am not a burden (You problem child)  
why am I to be blamed  
are you uncertain?  
of your skills  
of your words  
of your trust  
in me?

Your words maim me  
you brought me  
into this world and  
How could you treat me like this  
you will damn well bring me out of this


	4. Shake Me

the memory of you  
makes me shake  
I wish it was fake  
haunting me like you knew  
(I shake for I lack the courage)

would you miss me if  
i envision you sitting on a pew  
no, standing in a queue  
(Awaiting your judgement,)  
(It seems to be so)  
Baby blue, what do you see  
you kneel, pray so hard  
(Is it you or me who should flee?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Date Written: UNKNOWN, likely sometime around 2018.


	5. He Above

On a cloud I saw above,   
He laughing said to me:  
 _'So it is love you are void of!'_

I agree wordlessly.  
He thrashing about,  
Said to me,  
 _'Pity!'_

 _'Love is not everything.'_  
I held onto my pride with a clutch,  
His remarks did sting.


	6. illustration

the strangest thing I find  
is that my parents don't seem to care  
that my aspiration isn't the best

for some reason  
above all the abuse and nitpicking  
they seem content. that my dream  
is to draw and create and design  
no kicking me out, no threatening  
no need for CEO, 'air' levels, billionaire  
(filial piety, must take care)   
of all the things they could scream at me  
over  
they do not scream at me for my  
unassuming   
ambition

don't seem to respect me as a human  
yet don't seem to have any qualms  
with my future job  
now isn't that the strangest thing?


	7. On The Bird And Its

many have their hearts in their chest  
underneath flesh and bones  
a bird who, from day one in its nest,  
has its heart on the outside.

when someone is mean  
some are irked  
(the bird is a wreck)

when someone is nice  
some are glad  
(the bird falls in love)

the bird becomes a hassle  
the bird asks for too much

You feel too much  
Laugh too loud  
Cry too much  
Far from a nonesuch!

the bird wishes to  
make a hole  
form a bowl  
push its heart in  
cover it with chagrin

Futile.

so the bird hides in its nest  
without protest

so the bird no longer speaks  
wires shut its beak  
write, draw, create  
segregate.

but they enjoy what the bird creates  
and so they await  
So beautiful,  
So brave,  
So wonderful,  
what you communicate!

Celebrations! Festivities! Cheering!  
Hooray!  
Everybody Loves The Bird!

yet  
the bird wonders  
only if the heart  
is on the outside  
and  
the bird is inside  
people will like

the bird wonders  
the bird wonders  
the bird wonders  
the bird wanders

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of the only poems of recent memory that kickstarted my interest and acknowledgement into my understanding that I love poetry, so much more than writing formal essays and fanfiction.
> 
> It's a long one, and it's my favourite. It was written at a time when I was struggling emotionally due to my immaturity and need for validation and...stuff happened. I still love this poem very much, it came from the bottom of my heart and I think that's just the best thing about it. It doesn't paint past me in a good light, but over the years I've realised it's a good marker of reflection. I'm proud of who I am today and sometimes I read this over again whenever I'm doubtful of my progress. c:


	8. again and again

i swallowed a lizard  
and there's venom in my  
throat  
the devil(s); of monochromatic shades  
and hues  
encroach

and i sit and watch  
He draws blood  
(again and again)  
and i sit and watch  
He draws lines  
(segregation and such)  
and i sit and watch  
He draws many a pretty  
picture  
(of which the  
reality it depicts  
is far from the truth)  
and i sit and watch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I'll ever go public about what exactly inspired this one rainy night on the bus ride home, maybe I'll forget in the future or I'll always keep it in mind... Who knows?


	9. Breathing Like Others Do

the wound opens wide  
is this what an abyss feels like?

i used to know you, you  
know.  
and now? you are an enigma  
you come and you are like the very concept of love. come,  
in waves like an ocean, and then you will  
leave me hollow stomach turning head reeling  
and it goes on & on and it  
will not stop, will not wait! will  
mash and thrash and tear at me like  
a wild animal deprived of all its senses  
i will lay there,  
facsimile of something resembling  
love in my ribcage  
(wide open, the lungs fill and spread)

just like the  
others you will leave me  
forget me—i am a drifting entity,  
jaws wide open, hands outstretched  
teeth sharp and grazing against this wretched  
ground like a horrid sickness

i am bearing my teeth and you are beckoning  
me forward  
dangling my longing; my leash  
you dance forward and back, waiting for me  
to make any sort of move  
occasionally i entertain it  
(though is it you or me who decides whether  
this is occasional?)

eventually you will catch sight of  
a thing of immortal make, not  
human, incessant weeping, knives for teeth and a  
barbed tongue. and you will flee  
it will flee too, vanishing into the forests  
of vulnerability and of immense sorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mitski's Geyser really inspired at least one of the lines on here.
> 
> I wrote this at a time when I was struggling emotionally(surprise surprise), and when I couldn't figure out my emotions. Things are better now, but I look back at this in awe just like I do with "On The Bird And Its"~


	10. i will, i will, i will!

i am of rotted flesh and ivory bones  
and i will devour your heart whole and  
i will drag my ink across your skin!

you hold my hand and I remember what it is like  
to not be consumed by claw  
marks, brimming and gargling.  
but only temporarily,  
you leave and return as you please

i imagine you only come back when  
you need to, and leave when your  
need is satiated.

i hate that about you

i am standing on the mrt platform.  
i am thinking about everything we've said,  
the fact that you liked me many years ago. Maybe that  
has passed;  
time rears its head and lets out its nonchalant yawn

the air is clear and the sun is bright yet it  
smells like soot and smog  
airways clog  
i do not hack and wheeze, simply choke  
on tears that roll without my permission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this on the spot while waiting for my train home ,,


	11. four of

**four of**

four of  
four of  
 _20:00  
_ cups 

at what point does one's reasonable  
amount of want become  
gluttonous ravenous  
voracious  
 _doggedness?_

insatiable lecherous  
whose canines scrape against  
this cement carpet  
pool of iron and eyes

what is this wanting,  
if not too high an expectation?  
several  
from such a wild thing  
whose eyes  
semper fi

dart back and forth  
ruptured vessels  
splayed, it is in looking wrong  
one hears the house cat's  
instrument of surrender


End file.
